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Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Nyctophobia in Me.
Nyctophobia (fear of the dark)is mostly associated as a phobia in children. I am an adult yet I still fear the dark. I rarely confess this phobia in me. But
I realized that admitting my fear can help me overcome it.
There are various situations when
we encounter darkness.Case 1: It's night time, you are alone at home, reading.
All of a sudden, the light goes off. You suddenly realize that you are out of
candle stock. You can’t find your mobile phone. Case 2: You are in the
shower at night, the lights goes off, your mobile is in your living room. Case
3: You are walking alone to your house at night and there is a dark place
you have to cross. Case 4: You go to store room located in the basement of your office with a urgent task. The tube light in the store room has some problem. It's dark. You have forgotten your mobile on your desk.
I can’t sleep with my lights
off. If I do, I wake up in the middle of night to find myself sweat profusely
with the fear that someone is lurking in my room (I often develop an apprehension of a
ghostly figure). I am a little hesitant to go out when it is dark. When I walk
the dark path (even with my friends) I feel that someone is following me
(A creepiness runs through my spine). I get really terrified to even look
back with the fear that I may see something horrifying. My heart rate increases,
I start to sweat even in the chilliest night (I try not to admit it to my friends). Even when I am in group, I always prefer to walk in the
middle. I choose where I want to be as walking behind my friends or by their
side, gives me the feeling of an unknown presence behind/by my side. I feel
protected in the middle.
If I have just a friend with me
in such situations. I hold their hands or arms. When scared, I usually pressed their
hands so hard. I know Rinchen and Tshering definitely knows my feelings when I
do this. When I am alone, you can assume my condition. I find myself gasping
till I reach home. Even the thought of walking alone at night gives me a chill
in my nerve at the moment.
When I get into a dark room I
fear what if I see someone like the one in "Grudge' horror movie. I quickly
search for the switch and get back to my normal self (Confession: I can't go
alone into an empty dark room, I try hard as am an adult now).
As per once source "If
your nyctophobia is severe, you may attempt to run away from dark rooms and
avoid being outside at night. You might become angry or defensive if anyone
tries to encourage you to spend time in the dark."(http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-fear-of-the-dark/). I do that all the time. Hereby, it is confirmed that I
have Nyctophobia. And it’s a severe one.
Any dark environment gives my
body a paralysis. I feel vulnerable. My
imagination further stimulates my fear and I regret for watching horror movies
(Note: Now I have stopped watching any of it). I always associate night and its darkness to "Evil and Fear."
The positive point of this phobia is that I feel very close to God.Such situations make me seek refuge in them with my true heart. I feel
their presence too. I know it is good to feel close to God but it leaves me crippled most of the time.
I hope this confession do me a little magic and elevate me of this phobia in me.