The Shattered Dreams

The shattered dreams

Nobody wants me home.  I am the reason for them to get societal criticism.  My Ama hit me when I shared about it. My mother was silent and helpless because she too was dependent on Ama like me.

Now I live here at my Apa’s village with grandpa. I lost my dad when I was very young. Until then my mom and me had been staying with Ama, my mom’s sister. Life has never been easy on us as I felt I was a burden to them. I worked during my vacations. Thanks to my Ama she supported my studies until my graduation.  Though she is very strict, I know she has a reason to be strict.

 Now, I have hurt her, which I never intended to.

I loved him so much and beyond that, I had trusted him. Never in my life I have imagined that he would betray me to this extend.  My heart aches not that he has left me but because he refuses to accept our child.  I remember the trust and the dreams we had built for our future. Now, that the life is grown in my body for so long, I don’t even want to pursue him to accept it. May be it was my own fault because I trusted him more than myself.

I have lost all hopes for him to return. It hurts me badly because I have ruined my relationship with my Ama. She is so sad that she does no longer want to see me. I have left Thimphu.

Life is difficult with no support from family.  I have no job and no person whom I can trust. I have lost faith in him and the only reason for my existence is my child. I wonder why he does not accept our love.

Should I blame myself for trusting him? Should I blame him because he is denying his responsibility? Should I blame my Ama for she is angry to support me?  

I am afraid to approach any of the women organization for I know he would get angrier and never return to me. The little chance of his return may be shattered. I feel helpless. I only wait for the time to change everything, for things to improve and for my life to be beautiful again.

Note:   This is based on true story. I know the girl but I have not seen her personally.  Many of my close friends have shared about this to me. We have been discussing what can be done to help her but since all of us are also young, nothing materialized. and I really wish we could help her out in some way. I really did not know how to put up this issue so I have put this in the form of story. I even do not know  if I have done justice to her story but it brought tears as I wrote this.