Scolding is not Inspiring

People often mistake scolding as an ability  to change other person in people management. That is the greatest mistake  a person can ever make especially when other person is no more a kid. Instead, scolding creates repercussion  that may not be desirable as thought by the one scolding. 

I often wonder why people resort to scolding when there are many other means to solve the problems. Scolding generates negative energy among  people who are the victims. It agitates people and makes them repeat the same thing intentionally.

Does scolding solve problem? No, it does not instead  complicates the situation. It disheartens those people who need  support and and guidance. A scolding without any analysis of situation of  other person is a sheer blunder. A leader/Manager/Supervisor needs to understand this. Listening to people who lick your boots to please you  shows your inner values and principles.It portrays firmness in your decision-making and your leadership quality. Leader of such kind are not so wanted by many people except the boot lickers.    Scolding your subordinates is not a solution to any problem. Instead listen to them. Have patience to look from broader perspectives the  challenges you are face with regarding people management.

Life could not be any miserable than having to be in a place where your boss is listener to boot lickers and your voice is not at all considered. Leave alone considering your opinion, if it  is just rejected the moment you start to raise will be the worst experience for any person. 

 To inspire people is to encourage and influence their mind and soul . Scolding is  definitely not  an Inspiration. It is rather  something that stimulates nerves than  souls. 

The Beauty of Tshetshu

Being a Bhutanese, Tsechu is not a new concept to me. Yet I had never looked at it so closely until now. As a kid I always loved going to Tshechus because I got to wear new and  beautiful clothes. I loved watching the performers perform. It contented me  when I met with people whom I had not met for months and we got to sit and share our lunch together. It was fun  listening to my parents explain to me the meaning of different dances and the faces of the mask dancers. The melody of the dancers cheered me as I got an opportunity to immitate them llatter infront of my parents  when I reached home.

Now,even as an adult  I still love Tshechus, as it brings colors and sparkle to the place. I still enjoy wearing the intricate and exquisitely designed hand  woven kira, the impeccable combination of silk wanju and the brocade tego . It adds to the beauty of the outfit.The precious stone are my favourite. As a child I was always thrilled to wear the corals and the pearls.   To these days, I cannot hide my excitement to wear it. The clothes have  dynamism to  add splendor to the ones wearing it and ones watching it. I admire the charm that Tshechu brings among people. We get to meet with people from various societal backgrounds, their language and their taste. Of course, like in the past in my village Tshechu, I do not talk to all the people and smile to all the people I see on my way. But I definitely, enjoy looking at all the people I meet on my way. I even smile to some of the people and vice-versa.

I do not  see so much of cohesiveness among people during such occasion in urban center which  is very different in the case of rural areas. Way back as a kid, I saw everyone talk to each other on their way and adults circled themselves to drink ara together.

Here is a different story, people have their own group and we have no reasons to talk to other people as it would be too strange if anyone did this.  

Nevertheless, I still love the horror that Dray Nakchung brings in me, the calm that Lha Karp assures  me. Tshechus are such a wonderful time of the year. 

Voice disregarded

I always thought that our seniors and elders will always listen to our voice.  Especially, I assumed our educated seniors of present times  to understand us more than those in the past.  I always believed that Bhutan has come of the bureaucratic setting and that people are broad minded. However, the alternatives given by us is taken as a challenge by our elders/authorities. They believe that raising our concern is going against the rules. At the moment we are experiencing the extreme case where we are trying to raise our concern but everything we say is disregarded. Of course people appear to be  listening  while we talk. But the irony is they never take  in account our voice. Theoretically, they ask our opinions and suggestions but eventually they make decision of what they believe it to be true.Thats why Bhutanese youth are not confident enough in voicing out. We are always afraid that if we do so it will have implication. Yes, it has implication because if few of us have the confidence to talk, we are seen as black sheep, someone who is challenging the authority. Even if some things affect us we are never seen to have  potential to have our own prospect. We are actually seen as incapable of making our own decisions. It is seen by those bureaucratic heads  that only people in the power or elders have the solutions and capacity to makes decisions /set things right.The bureaucratic notion of people in the authority is vested deep inside which will never change in Bhutan for long. It will take years to replace them while the youth will face critical consequences. We are afraid to say things and we feel morally dejected. Now, we do not even want to speak out even if some one says so because our voice does not matter at all  for our authorities. What matters for them is their power to suppress our voice and exercise their supremacy. However, some people in the power are failing to understand that when we  speak out its not  going against them. It means we are having alternative perspectives to few things and that we are not trying to break the rules.To some of our people who say our Bhutanese youth are not confident. let me give the reason today. Its because we are never supported to speak out. If some of us manage somehow to speak out due to our inherent capacity, those few are seen as opposing and not respecting the elders/the people at higher positions.We are left with no direction. We are scared to make our own decisions now. Our elders have forced us to believe that we are lack the capability.
To teachers, do not be surprised to see your students mute the next time you enter the class. To  educators, do not get astonished to have no questions/suggestions from the students during question answer sessions. To others, do not blame us if you find some of the websites filled with harsh comments about you. We have either chosen to be anonymous or  stay silent because you have forced us to. 
People, make sure not to criticize our youth of not being confident because you see confidence in youth as challenger to your knowledge and experience. We become how you groom us. If you have  not invested in our confidence building  and eloquence then its you who have taught us that way. Remember, you have rob us of our space to voice out. Sorry for voicing out today  dear bureaucrats, it did not come out because some of you have told me to speak out. Its my innate talent!

You are my Hero

There is no love like the love of a Brother. 

Dear Acho

I remember how I haven't expressed once of how fortunate I feel to have you in my life. Of how you boost my energy. Every time i talk with you, it gives me enthusiasm to work towards my goal. 

I am enthralled by the energy you have in you.I saw how you had influenced and impacted  people around you. I know they are highly motivated by your guidance and magnetism.

I recollect those times of my life when I had glitches and you rescued me from those times. I thank Almighty for gifting with brother like you.  

Your support ignite me in my hard times. I do not even realize how fast i pass though difficult times because i have you by my side smiling and assuring me that I have potential to move on.The way you protect me makes me feel that I am still a little girl. I sometimes wish I never grow up at all so that I can always be your little girl.

I am so fascinated by your zeal for change  and the hard work you put in your work.It makes me wonder and think "Can any person have this level of capacity to work so hard?"

We share a dream of a vibrant community.I am sure our  dream  to make a difference in the world in our own little ways will come true one day.

Acho,you give me strength to dream more, learn more and do more. 

You motivate and inspire me every day. You make me proud . I feel blessed to have a brother like you. Thank you Acho. You are my Hero.

I pray to Almighty to Protect you, Gift you with  Smiles and Fulfill all the dreams that you have for the World.
With Love
Your Lil Sis

Under-representation of Women: Still An Issue for Bhutan

The second parliamentary election came to an end yesterday with  PDP winning the maximum seats to the Parliament  to from the new government.  With 15  seats for DPT we still have a strong opposition. However,it is concerning when  we look at the participation of women in this election . The primary round had satisfying women candidates in the parties with two Women President. However, both the parties with Women President were voted out that left very minimum women candidates for the general elections. The total women contestants was just 9 out of which only 3 won the seats to National Assembly.This accounts to just 6.3% of female out of the total candidates which is even lesser than the first election which was less than 14%.Thus Bhutan is still left with the issue of under representation women in parliament(with no women elected  to National Council).

The reasons behind very few participants needs to be researched. However, one of the leading factors is the deep rooted societal and traditional views on women leadership and gender roles. Traditionally, people always believed that it is men who should occupy the leadership positions. There are many challenges a women participants to public life face. For instance, there is lack of confidence from the electorates on Women candidates. Thus, there are very few of them who get opportunity to display their leadership qualities. I sill remember in the primary round of election how one of my friends was told not to vote for female candidate on religious ground which was negatively connoted. 

Thus, Bhutan still has stereotypical views on female leadership. Despite all the efforts made by KCD production among the electorates on the female leadership, it failed to bring change in attitude among the electorates. Even  both  the PDP and DPT failed to encourage more female participation as candidates.

Now, the question of quota arise  at this juncture. Although quota has many negative connotations related to it , it is high time Bhutan start to think about the issue of under-representation of women in parliament and about its  implementation because the incremental methods does not seems to be working in Bhutanese context in changing the attitude of people towards female leadership. Denmark took more than 60 years by applying the incremental track to bring women participation. If Bhutan waits for this long , its going to be too late for Bhutan especially when we have alternatives at hand.

Thus,there is need for quota in Bhutanese parliament. How can just 6% represent more than 50% of the population. I see it as a big challenge because women have very different approach to doing things and tackling problems. Need of the women an be understood by women themselves only.I know our Bhutanese women are modest in coming out to speak out loud compared to men but that does not make them less capable then men. Women like to work behind the scene and do less talking(entirely my view though).

Policies must ensure that it will create enabling condition for women to come out. Without female leaders the possibility of ensuring this is very less. Thus, we need more women leaders. 

Quota must be encouraged in Bhutanese Parliament. It will boost the confidence of other women to come out and in long run increase female participation. If quota is thought to be asserting inequality for  men then it must be implied only for some time until critical minimum is reached.

The equality according to international standard is measured through female participation at the leadership position (eg, parliament). Few may argue that Bhutanese women are given equal opportunities. However, equality in legality does not ensure equity in reality. We need to see the attitudes which determines how people view about women. Thus, It is high time Bhutan decide on quota system for women.

Despite having just three female parliamentarians,  I anticipate to see the first Female Minister this time.

The AfterMath

Regret is the worst  feeling.......

There are so many things we want to mend in life. Few memories we want to erase it from our brain.Few things we wish we did not do. 

Things happens and sometimes its not always what we want in life. we have no control over all that happens to us. We wish things to happen our way and when it does not, that is when we regret. Sometimes  life can be cruel to us. Yes it really can be.

It is said  that people learn through their mistakes. Do we really learn from it? I wonder because  I see no change in people even if it that mistake is committed all over again. Well then why is there" learning through mistakes".

I wish there was no thing call 'Regret' and that we can have control over few things, over our own emotions. 

People often say things happen for reason. I still wonder if things really happen for reasons. And if it happens for reasons what the reasons must be. Does that lead to better world in that person's life or does that person end up with even worst life?

Well that is what that person must realize it mindfully. 

What ever the situation may be, what ever people may say, finally its you, self, who have to face the hardships, who have to go through the whole process.

Life, situations, incidents can be terrible sometimes as it brings 'Regret', the regret of not being able to do few things, not being able to take few steps, or simply taking some steps.

Yes, aftermath is terrible  :(

Meaning of Life???

Did u often wonder why you are born on this earth?? Did u ever get depressed in search of your own identity? when i say identity i do not mean you as Tashi,Pema or Sonam. I mean your profound identity. I do not know what that is called, may be self discovery. I do not have right term for it. But i always believe we have higher roles to play in the world. I always suppose that we do not mean to exist just as we do now. There are higher truth than we can see it right now. This can only be achieved through self identity.

 I wonder are we just meant to be born, grow up, go to schools, enter university,get a degree or so, haunt job, get it finally, search for a life partner, get married, have kids, then spend times thinking of our kids and then when they are finally old enough, retire ourselves, and get old, finally die. Is that the end of us? Is that why we came here in this world?
Do we have things beyond what every people do every do? will we ever be able to realize it some day? When will that turning point be?
Well i live in this confused state all the time. Moat of the time i am drowned into this thoughts and emotions. I find so difficult to swim out of this confused state. Or am i crazy to think about it.In search of my goals in this life, i often feel lonely because i am unable to go with the flow of time because i find myself so peculiar when i compare to myself to  people . Or do i even need to compare myself?
All i feel is lost. I have spent 17 years of my life educating myself and its even time for me to get into a job. I will live my life like any other human.Go to office, come back home and so on. It will be a "normal life" like people describe. But is that really being normal. I want to know who i am. not just Tashi. The real me. where do i find my goals, my final destination, my roles.
I want to transcend from this mundane and ordinary life. I always have faith that the meaning of life is not how we define. we have greater definition for it which i am yet to discover.
Only i know my life is not just meant to waste itself in futility.Because its ultimately me who have to go through everything. The world exist only because i am here. It will be there as long as i am here. When i am gone it will cease to exist.
The path towards my destiny is misty yet i try to follow it with my intuition. All i want to do is realize the higher truth of my existence here.
Do bless me my Guru ^ ^